Change used to excite me because I knew it would bring opportunities for self-growth. However, as I’ve gotten older, I’ve found myself holding more fear toward change. When you’re younger, life feels like an unfolding adventure with little time for rumination. Now, I cherish my loved ones and experiences more deeply, and life’s weight feels heavier. It often feels like there’s so much more to lose, and during uncertain times, every decision feels like standing at a crossroads without a map.
Throughout our journeys, no one is quite the same person they were a week ago, much less a few months or a year ago. Sometimes, during my day, I can’t help but reflect on where I was a year ago and compare that to who I am now. So much has changed- living situations, personal relationships, career path- but through it all, I feel proud of the person I’ve become.
I believe we can all testify to experiencing similar moments of change. Our adversities, resilience, and interactions with others play a huge role in shaping our identities. It’s truly beautiful to experience life this way. In a previous post, I discussed how vulnerability leads to happiness. Once you accept the natural cycle of life- that happiness can stem from sadness- and you’re okay with that, then you can begin to accept your situation.
Of course, this is much easier said than done. That’s why I want to share some mindfulness tips I’ve discovered for myself, especially as someone who has had many moments of readjusting after change.
Reconnect with Your Inner Child
First, reconnecting with my inner child has been one of the best things I’ve done for myself. Childhood experiences shape our identity and influence how we emotionally respond today. Reflecting on your inner child helps you become aware of old wounds or fears that may unconsciously affect your reactions now. For example, feeling the need to constantly push yourself to eat even when you’re full might come from a childhood experience where you were forced to finish everything on your plate.
To be a bit vulnerable, as I’ve encouraged you to be, my emotional response to hard situations is to isolate myself and figure things out on my own. This comes from childhood experiences where I couldn’t rely on caregivers or adults to help me in certain circumstances; I had to rely on myself. Taking the time to carefully analyze your emotional patterns and reflect on how they developed (without judgment) is incredibly important. I also want to take this a step further by sharing that sometimes when I reconnect with my inner child, I don’t just look at emotional patterns. I also pay attention to behavioral patterns. Many of our habits and coping mechanisms develop early in life as ways to manage stress or unmet needs, and they often stick with us into adulthood.
Remembering our childhood, even though for some of us it might hold trauma and sadness, can still remind us of simpler times when the world revolved around our interests and joys. Reconnecting with those memories through things like music or TV shows from childhood can actually help soothe the nervous system. These familiar comforts act as a form of self-soothing and emotional regulation, calming anxiety by triggering feelings of safety and nostalgia. From my own experience, I can testify that nostalgia can increase feelings of social connectedness and reduce stress.
As I mentioned before, if you hold grief or anger while exploring your inner child, you don’t need to push yourself too hard. Maybe you simply had a favorite pastime like drawing, reading, or playing outside that served as your escape or safe space. Revisiting those simple joys can be a gentle way to reconnect with yourself and find moments of peace amid the chaos. To be vulnerable again, in moments when I feel a bit down, I’ll listen to music I loved as a child or watch a TV show (in my case, nostalgic Barbie movies- if you know, you know) to help calm my nervous system and bring me back to the present moment.
Push Yourself Outside of Your Comfort Zone
No one prepares you for that shift in adulthood when you suddenly have to start worrying about all the little everyday tasks. Yes, laundry is expected to be done, but planning what’s for dinner every night can be hard, especially when you’re fairly new to adult life.
This past November (well, November 2024), I hosted my first Friendsgiving. I created a template on Notion with a few dinner ideas I wanted to cook: mashed potatoes, broccolini, a Lebanese lemon chicken and potato dish, sweet potato casserole, hummus, salad, and beef kafta. I cleared my schedule the morning of the dinner, and let’s just say, being a new cook, it took me a full two hours just to peel the potatoes before I could prep anything else. I was rushing around the kitchen like an absolute maniac, and all the fun of the day was drained by the time I finally finished cooking at 8 p.m. Let’s not even discuss the aftermath of cleaning the kitchen and washing all those dishes.
At the end of the day, dinner was a success, and we all enjoyed our time together, but I learned three lessons: (1) Don’t host a big dinner if you’re new to cooking. (2) Order takeout next Friendsgiving. (3) Start trying new recipes so that next time, you know when to prep ingredients and how to prep them, making hosting a breeze. Although it was a semi-disaster, I was proud of myself for pushing past my comfort zone. I’m not the biggest fan of cooking, but since then I’ve challenged myself to cook one new dish each week. I keep all my recipes in a Notion tab along with their ingredients for easy prep and grocery runs.
Pushing yourself out of your comfort zone doesn’t need to be a grand feat like skydiving- though that can work. It can be small steps that help you move past doubt or anxiety without leaving you feeling overwhelmed afterward. It should feel like relief. This year, I actually made it a point to discover a new hobby each month. I like to maintain some privacy online, so I don’t really use social media, but my first hobby was creating Pinterest posts- sometimes daily, sometimes weekly. I designed wallpapers, shared spiritual quotes, and reposted images that inspired me. Over time, my Pinterest grew to over a million interactions, and I was able to monetize it.
Similarly, I started this blog after dedicating one month’s hobby to writing. I wrote a few poems and short stories, but I also remembered that in one of my undergraduate classes, my current advisor and professor at the time had remarked on one of my papers that I should start a blog. Again, because I like to have control over my internet presence, this was a big leap for me, but it’s become such a rewarding one.
Looking back, I realize that my growth didn’t come from perfect moments. It came from the messy and slightly chaotic ones where I had to figure things out. Pushing yourself beyond comfort isn’t just about achieving the task in front of you; it’s about proving to yourself that you can keep going, even when it feels unfamiliar. That’s the kind of courage success is built on. With that being said, if you’re waiting for the perfect moment to try something new, stop waiting. Start small. Try one new thing this week that makes you just a little uncomfortable. Success isn’t built in giant leaps. It’s built in the steady steps you take that lead you further than you thought you could go.
Create a Routine
I used to have a very negative inclination toward any type of routine, mainly because I experienced a lot of rigidity in my own childhood. So when I finally reached a space where I could make my own decisions, I purposely avoided planning things out, which for some time also led me to avoid setting achievable goals. I don’t mean to suggest that I lacked ambition. I still had goals and responsibilities, but I just didn’t yet understand how to view discipline in a positive light.
When I turned 19, I was nannying for a family during the COVID era, working from 7 a.m. to around 8 p.m., caring for the children all day. I can’t even tell you how much this experience healed me. Taking care of kids at that young age was eye-opening because when I was their age, I had very different experiences and a very different home life. One thing we shared was that, like me at their age, they had a very specific schedule to maintain.
This is how I personally learned that discipline can be a good thing. For example, the kids had specific dietary needs because they were athletes. Even though they were young, they dedicated several hours to exercise, whether stretching or challenging workout routines. In return, they could watch TV for about 30 minutes if they earned it, with some room for negotiation. Through this, they learned (and I learned with them) the importance of time management, physical movement, and setting achievable goals.
I continued working as a nanny for many years, and it not only shaped the person I am today but also helped me make peace with my past experiences. Through that experience, I came to understand the importance of discipline. Success comes from consistency, and consistency comes from discipline. When I talk about discipline, I don’t mean rigidity. I mean the pursuit of something even when it’s hard and sticking with it. I believe routine and discipline go hand in hand; routines create stepping stones toward your goals.
Routine looks different for everyone, but I find that narrowing down my day-to-day tasks- from waking up and stretching right after, to putting in my contacts after my morning shower- has helped me maintain purpose in my daily life. I recently read a book called Make Your Bed by Admiral William H. McRaven. He offers 10 pieces of advice, the first being: “If you want to change the world, start off by making your bed.” He explains that making your bed is like giving yourself a small victory. It’s a goal you can easily check off your to-do list, and that small victory will give you momentum for the day. What really stuck with me was that even if you feel like you’ve accomplished nothing all day, at least you can say you made your bed, and you can end your day in bed on a good note.
By outlining my daily tasks, I’m able to check off even the smallest goals I achieve and feel good about them, which gives me momentum to tackle more challenging things.
I encourage you to start small. Try keeping two journals: one for planning and one for tracking. In my planning journal, I write down the tasks I want to achieve by the end of the day, the end of the week, and the end of the month. This helps me keep my goals in focus. In my tracking journal, I record each task I’ve accomplished that day- whether it was preparing breakfast, finishing a work meeting, or completing a language lesson. Seeing my daily wins keeps me motivated, and if I didn’t hit my main goals, it helps me reflect on how I can structure the next day to make them happen.
Start today: write down what you want to accomplish, track what you actually do, and watch how even the smallest victories build momentum for bigger goals.
Redefine Your Purpose and Your Why
On the topic of achieving goals, it’s important to understand why you want to achieve them. As mentioned earlier, change is inevitable in life, and throughout your journey, your dreams and objectives might shift along with it. Even your definition of success might look different over time. It’s important, then, to regularly review your goals, make sure they still align with your vision, and redefine your purpose as needed. Understanding what your goals are is the first step to achieving them, but it’s equally important to break down how to get there and identify what will motivate you along the way.
Recently, I participated in a 21-day Foundation for Flourishing Leadership workshop created by Christina Farinacci-Roberts, head of Head, Heart, and Hands Consulting. The course defines flourishing as balance across seven key areas: finances, leisure, occupation, unity, relationships, impact, sanity, and health. It guides you to identify which areas need the most attention and how to make positive contributions and changes in each.
One of my favorite activities in the course was creating a personal mission statement, which required me to take the time to redefine my purpose and truly understand my “why.” I didn’t fully realize the impact of this activity until I actually tried it. While I already knew my aspirations and what drives me at my core, taking the time to review my goals and redefine them where needed helped me shift my perspective. I took some time to analyze what I truly believed my purpose was, and why I’m motivated to pursue it. For instance, with this blog, my purpose is to provide book or lifestyle reflections that connect with leadership advice and conversations. What motivates me is the satisfaction I feel when I put my reflections onto a page and share them with my community. They keep me accountable. To maintain this purpose, I’ve established time in my daily routine to write a reflection, and then I choose to post it.
When you clearly define your purpose and understand your “why,” it changes the way you approach your daily habits. Suddenly, each small action holds more meaning because it connects directly to a bigger goal. Think of it like dropping a single pebble into a still pond: the ripples might start small but spread far beyond where the pebble first touched the water.
Affirm Your Experience and Affirm Who You Are
We’ve gone over the importance of reconnecting with your inner child, pushing yourself out of your comfort zone, creating a healthy routine, and redefining your purpose and your why. I think one of the most important practices is to affirm yourself and affirm your experience.
Life looks different for all of us, yet there are similarities we all share. We’re not alone in this journey, but sometimes we might feel isolated. We might carry shame, guilt, despair, hopelessness, mistrust, and more. It’s common to feel these emotions, and I’ve found that affirming yourself and your experience is the best way to truly move forward in life.
Confidence comes from trusting yourself, and sometimes that can be hard when we feel such negative emotions. But acknowledging your experiences and accepting them can help.
A few affirmations that have helped me are:
- I am enough just as I am.
- My feelings are valid, and I honor them without judgment.
- I trust myself to make the best decisions for my growth.
- I am resilient and capable of overcoming challenges.
Try creating your own affirmations and repeat them to yourself each morning and every night.
Thank you for taking the time to come across this post. I know it’s long, but I want to emphasize that change isn’t always easy, but it’s through embracing it- reconnecting with ourselves, stepping outside our comfort zones, creating routines, redefining our purpose, and affirming our experiences- that we find momentum and growth. Remember, progress comes from small, consistent steps, and every effort you make ripples out in ways you might not immediately see. So be gentle with yourself, stay curious, and keep moving forward. Your journey is yours, and every day is an opportunity to become the person you’re meant to be.