Somewhere along the way, we stopped living for the moment and started living for the post. Our sense of value shifted. Now, a meal isn’t amazing unless it’s photographed, a vacation isn’t memorable unless it’s shared, and a thought doesn’t count until it’s tweeted. Privacy feels outdated, and genuine authenticity feels rare.
We talk a lot about artificial intelligence, but not enough about artificial living: the curated morning routines, the perfectly lit coffee shots, the gym sessions that seem designed more for TikTok than for sweat. It’s a performance disguised as a lifestyle, and it’s all selling something to an audience.
I personally don’t keep any social media apps on my phone, because like anyone, I can be prone to doomscrolling. We’ve all done it, and if you haven’t, I truly commend you. Doomscrolling is that mindless act of scrolling and scrolling, barely noticing the world around you or the time slipping away. It disconnects you from the people around you and plugs you into everyone else’s highlight reel.
This reflection was inspired in part by Before the Coffee Gets Cold, a novel that explores time, memory, and the intimate, fleeting moments we often overlook. The book reminded me that life’s small, private experiences (the ones we unfortunately sometimes rush past) hold the deepest meaning. As Tsumura writes:
“Water flows from high places to low places. That is the nature of gravity. Emotions also seem to act according to gravity… It is much easier to conceal sadness from a stranger, or from someone you don’t trust.”
A lot of us doomscroll to escape reality, which can feel harmless- even comforting or motivating depending on what you see- in small doses. However, when it becomes the default, you’re not just escaping the hard parts of life, you’re also missing the real moments that make life yours. There’s a lot to learn from life’s challenges, and that makes me wonder: in a world constantly feeding us a filtered version of reality, how do we hold onto the unfiltered version of ourselves?
I think the more I experience, the more privacy feels like a necessity. I’ll admit, I used to post everything- vacations, daily moments, even my perspectives online. I’ll also admit that sometimes my phone eats before I do. If you go to a restaurant with me, you might notice me pulling out my phone for a quick food photo before digging in.
However, over time, I’ve realized something important: no matter how private or public your account is, anything you post can last forever. Maybe a food picture seems harmless, but even small posts are a form of oversharing. Honestly, what’s the point? No one will remember or truly care that you had a candlelit dinner or a sushi night with friends. Some moments are meant to stay in the moment, for you and the people you’re with, not for the internet. That realization has made me more intentional about what I capture, what I share, and what I let just exist.
Of course, I encourage you to capture memories and take selfies in the moment, but it’s important to be mindful about what truly matters to share online and what doesn’t. That’s where selective sharing comes into play, and it starts with understanding your values and living intentionally.
As I mentioned earlier, social media is often performative. What we see online isn’t reality, but thanks to personal branding, it can seem like it is. Even if you’re not an influencer, personal branding is still incredibly important. As Tsumura also reminds us:
“People don’t see things and hear things as objectively as they might think. The visual and auditory information that enters the mind is distorted by experiences, thoughts, circumstances, wild fancies, prejudices, preferences, knowledge, awareness, and countless other workings of the mind.”
Knowing your purpose and what you stand for helps you share content intentionally, present yourself authentically, and make sure that what you put out into the world aligns with your values, rather than just performing for an audience. Building a personal brand isn’t about impressing others. It’s about expressing yourself intentionally and authentically. It begins with knowing your why (I touched upon this in my previous blog post): your purpose, values, and the story you want to tell about yourself. Understanding this helps you decide what truly matters to share online versus what’s just for likes or validation. Being intentional with your posts, sharing selectively, and letting some moments stay private ensures your online presence reflects you, not a performative highlight reel. I regularly check that what I share aligns with my values; it helps me stay true to myself in a world that rewards performance over authenticity.
Now, all of this- selective sharing, valuing privacy, and building a personal brand- comes back to one central question: in a world that constantly rewards performative living, how do we stay true to ourselves? We do this by being intentional with what we share, reflecting on our values, and letting some moments remain undocumented. In doing so, we create space to live authentically. I don’t want to make it seem as if it’s about rejecting social media entirely, but about using it in a way that serves you, not the highlight reel the world expects.
I want to end all of this with a reminder: life isn’t meant to be lived for likes, comments, or curated perfection. The moments that truly matter (quiet mornings, dinner with loved ones, honest conversations) are the ones that shape who we are. By being intentional with what we share, valuing privacy, and staying grounded in our values, we can resist the pressure to perform and embrace authenticity instead. So, in a world full of performance, I encourage you to live for yourself, which is the truest form of authenticity.