Words have a way of staying with us, long after they’ve been spoken. Sometimes these word stamps are a passing comment, a short message, or even a phrase said casually, but for whatever reason, it lingers and stays in our hearts. Do you have any words or phrases that someone once said to you that have stayed with you for years?
For me, it was during one of the hardest seasons of my life, way back in high school (I promise I’m not that old). I was walking through a very heavy chapter when I received a simple text message from a friend: “Everything gets better with time.” You might read that and wonder how something so simple could have such a lasting impact. I know it wasn’t long or dramatic, but those five words really took root in my heart. They became a constant reminder I’ve held onto through later struggles, and they’ve proven true again and again. I’d like to share why these words can be true for you, too.
One of my favorite affirmations is this: “I’ve survived 100% of my worst days, and I am capable of getting through this one too”. In truth, time (and how we choose to fill that time) has a way of softening what once felt unbearable. From my experience, I wouldn’t say I’m an impatient person. However, when I’m in the middle of a rough period, I want it to be solved right away. Maybe you can relate to this too: the anxiety that rises when things seem so bleak and the results you’re longing for aren’t there yet. That feeling makes time feel almost insufferable. What I’ve learned is that time doesn’t simply erase what we’re going through. Instead, it gives us opportunities to breathe, process, and rebuild.
I think accepting that not everything is going to always be okay is so important. As a society, we cling to the happy moments- the times filled with joy, laughter, good company, and good health. However, what is happiness without also knowing suffering? Heartbreak can eventually lead to hope. The failure that once felt like the end of the world becomes a lesson we carry forward; Even the overwhelming weight of grief eventually becomes lighter to hold. There’s nothing we can do to prevent these difficult seasons, and just as we want to experience happiness fully and in the moment, we must also allow ourselves to experience sadness, disappointment, and pain fully. As someone once said bluntly to me: “That’s just how life is.” Sometimes, I find that blunt honesty is the best remedy when your heart is spiraling.
Of course, I know these could sound like just a bunch of words. So I want you to pause for a moment and remember a time in your life when you felt completely and utterly hopeless. Maybe you were broken, or uncertain about how you’d move forward. Now think about how that changed with time. Waiting is never easy. Those in-between seasons, the space between a negative chapter and a positive one, can feel endless and discouraging. Fortunately, there are small practices that we can practice consistently to help us stay grounded while time does its work.
As I mentioned earlier, how we choose to fill time is what makes things get better. I have a rule with myself: I allow a day of mourning for extremely difficult seasons. Depending on the situation, this could be just 10 minutes or a few hours, but usually on the first day of processing a challenging time, I give myself a full day to feel the grief, the sadness, and the anger. I don’t judge myself; I just let myself feel. The next two days, I make sure to achieve my objectives, but I still treat myself with kindness. I remain conscious of my feelings and take time for reflection throughout the day to soothe my heart. This approach has helped me through truly difficult seasons, like heartbreak from the passing of a loved one or the ending of a dream or a relationship.
For those moments that are shorter, like a bad day or a stressful situation, I adjust the practice accordingly by taking smaller pauses, allowing myself brief reflection, and gently reminding myself that the day will pass. During these days, I make a conscious effort to be as kind as I can. Being kind to others gives me so much gratification, and I notice that kindness often boomerangs, creating a brighter outlook on the day. This can be giving money to charity, paying someone’s subway fare, smiling at strangers, or offering kind compliments. Making someone else smile almost always leads me to smile back. I also encourage you to have healthy systems in place during brighter times, to make the darker ones easier to navigate. This could include journaling your feelings consistently, maintaining supportive friendships, investing in hobbies you enjoy, and keeping a basic everyday routine. That way, when you do go through darker times, you still have a foundation to help you pivot.
If you’re in a season that feels impossible, remember that the way forward is often simply to keep breathing, keep showing up, and let time do its quiet work. I know it might not feel like it now, but even the hardest moments eventually become softer. You’re stronger than you realize. Everything really does get better with time- even if it’s only a little at first, and even if it’s slower than you hoped. So please keep your heart open, your patience uplifted, and trust that healing unfolds in its own time.